


If He was She

by MusicalFangirl00193, SmallTownSlytherin



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: How the episode would have went if Emily had been Spencer, M/M, Spencer takes Emily's place, and vice versa, mentioned wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6974359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalFangirl00193/pseuds/MusicalFangirl00193, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallTownSlytherin/pseuds/SmallTownSlytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Spencer had been 'killed' by Doyle instead of Emily. If Doyle had taken Spencer to get to Emily, but it all went wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If He was She

“Hey Reid,” Morgan said easily, answering his phone.

“Derek?” Spencer’s voice was soft, shaking.

“I’m sorry.”

“Spence? What’s wrong? Where are you?” Derek responded, stopping what he was doing and standing straight.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer repeated. The call ended before Derek could respond. “Hotch!” Derek yelled across the bullpen.

xxx

Reid sat in the chair, slipping his phone into his pocket just as Doyle was returning. He tried to act innocent, but the rage was already on Doyle’s face. He grabbed a fistful of Reid’s hair and yanked his head backwards. “You little bitch.” He spat, and Reid resisted the urge to turn his face away. In Reid’s pocket his phone began to ring. Doyle grabbed the phone and glared at the ID before whirling and throwing it harshly against the wall. Reid flinched as it shattered into pieces and scattered everywhere. “Now, since you’ve called your little team for help...I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.” Doyle pulled out a pair of metal handcuffs and locked them much too tightly around Reid’s wrists. The youngest BAU agent knew this wasn’t going to end well.

 

xxx

“Please tell you’ve got something, baby girl.” Morgan asked for the fourth time in the past two minutes.

“I’m working as fast I can, Derek.” She whispered.

“Maybe Reid doesn’t want to be found.” Rossi pointed out as he scanned all the clues he has

. “Why wouldn’t he be?” Emily asked desperately. “Doyle wants me, not him!”

“Because what matters most to Reid? His own life or the lives of the one he cares about?” Rossi replied.

“We have to find him.” Morgan’s voice was weak and scratchy. “We have too.”

“And we will.” Hotch spoke up.

xxx

“Now,” Doyle said, slowly circling Reid. He slapped Reid across the face. “That’s for calling your team. This will be much worse for you because of that my dear.” Reid glared up at him.

“What do you want me for?” he asked, not trying to anger the man anymore, but trying to get information from him. Doyle tisked a couple of times, running a finger on the side of Reid’s face. “Your team,” he said simply. “I’ve been watching you for a while Dr. Reid. I know how you guys work. You, and that blonde one, Garcia right? You are the heart of your team. Take away the heart,” Doyle took a knife and cut Reid’s shirt off. “And what’s left?” Reid shivered as the cold air of the empty warehouse hit his bare skin.

“I’ll tell you what’s left,” he continued, lightly tracing the knife over his skin, putting more pressure on it as he continued closer to Reid’s heart. “Nothing,” he said, cutting the shape of a heart over the one in Reid’s chest, causing the young agent to cry out. “You wanna know how I know that?” he asked in a whisper. “Because your team took away mine.”

xxx

Morgan was itching to break out in a run, but Hotch’s heat behind reminded him that Reid’s life was in danger and they had to take this slowly, carefully. As they headed down the stairs to the basement, guns out, they could hear Reid’s whimpers of pain and fear, causing them to wince. Morgan burst in the door when they reached it, gun aimed directly at Doyle’s head. His blood ran cold and he nearly became sick at the sight in front of him. Reid was spread out the cold, basement floor, his shirt gone and Doyle working his pants slowly down his thin legs. There was blood pouring from his chest and arms. 

“Don’t move.” Morgan spat at Doyle, gun still aimed at his head. Doyle smirked, moving so they could see the knife held over Reid’s throat. 

"Drop the gun, or your pretty boy gets it.” He spat, pressing down hard enough to draw a bit of blood and show he was serious. 

Morgan immediately dropped his gun, eyes going wide in fear as he saw Reid’s handcuffed hands reaching towards the wooden steak. “No!” he mouthed as Doyle whipped around in time to get upside the head by the wood. Morgan’s shoulders went lax and he moved to jump into action and save Reid, only stopping as he saw the wood jab deeply into Reid’s stomach and Doyle disappear before they could do anything. 

Morgan was standing there in shock, jaw open, because the wooden steak, Reid’s only weapon was now pinning him to the floor, his pale, weak hands wrapped around it as his eyes gazed into Morgan’s and he rasped, “I’m sorry.”

xxx

Hotch ran after Doyle as Morgan went to Reid. “Spence?” Derek said softly, kneeling next to the other man. “You still with me?”

Spencer nodded, but it was slow, as if it took a lot of effort.

“It’ll be okay,” Derek said, taking in all of the injuries that Doyle had inflicted on his Pretty Boy, his Spencer. “The paramedics will be here soon, they’ll help, they’ll save you,” he said, even knowing that he was lying as the words came out of his mouth. “It’ll be okay.”

“Won’t make it,” Spencer coughed out.

“Of course they will,” Derek said, grabbing one of Spencer’s hands. “No don’t speak, that’ll just make it worse.”

“Come here,” Spencer said, “Closer.”

Derek did as instructed, moving his face closer to Spencer’s. “What is it Pretty Boy?”

“Tell my mom that I’m sorry, and that I love her. Tell the team I’m sorry that I failed them, and that I love them as well. Thank you, Derek.”

“Stop talking like that, Pretty Boy.” Derek shook his head desperately. “You’re gonna live, we’re gonna get through this, and you’ll go right back to being our resident genius, our Spence-”

Spencer smiled weakly. “I love you.”

His chest stopped moving.

xxx

Derek was curled up on the waiting room sofa, head in Garcia’s lap as she rubbed his arm, her face downcast. Rossi hadn’t stopped pacing since they arrived. Emily sat in a chair with her knees pulled up to her chest and Hotch stared blankly at wall.   Everyone looked up when JJ walked in from talking to the doctors that had been working on Reid. JJ just stared at them, unable to form any words. Garcia shook her head in denial as Emily began to cry into her shoulder. Hotch still had a blank look and Rossi pressed his fingers to his eyes, face crumpling.

“He never made it off the table.” JJ whispered, and Morgan got up, trying to leave the room. “Derek.” JJ whispered as she grabbed his arm.

“I didn’t get to tell him how I actually feel.” he whispered, and began to cry heavily into JJ’s shoulder. “There’s more to it than ‘I love you.'” And although none of them wanted to admit it, they knew what had happened.

They lost the heart of the team.

xxx

“You okay?” Garcia asked, turning as Derek came into her lair.

“Yeah,” Derek said, trying to convince himself of that fact. Garcia gave him a look. “No,” Derek admitted, both to her and himself. “Every day I get to work, look around, ready to tell Reid about the dream I had last night, then I remember that it wasn’t a dream, it's real. And I have to live with that.”

“It’ll be okay,” Garcia said, pulling Derek into a hug. “What do you need?”

“Just talk? I need to forget,” he said, “Just for a little while.”

“Alright,” Garcia said, before launching into some long ramble about gossip in the building.

xxx

It had been nearly eight months, and everyone seemed to be healing. Everyday, they walked past Spencer’s picture in the ‘FBI hall of fame’ to get a glimpse of the smiling face they so loved. Hotch walked around the corner sharply, meeting JJ. “Hey, got your message.” she said, watching as Hotch lowered his phone.

“It’s time.” he said seriously.

“Why? Morgan may be able to break Doyle without him.” she said, trying to avoid the situation she didn’t want to see go down.

“Declan tried to make a call, he’s on his way.” JJ sighed and nodded. “I’ve got Morgan," she said, walking past him.

“I’ve got the others.” Hotch replied, walking in the opposite direction.

xxx

Morgan walked into the room first, followed by JJ and Rossi. “Did you get anything from Doyle?” Emily asked, standing across from Garcia in the conference room.

“Doyle doesn’t think Geraci has the guts to take him on.” was Morgan’s reply.

“That’s definitely Geraci on the tape.” Garcia stressed, sitting down just as Hotch walked in.

“Welcome back.” Morgan said from his spot on a table, taking in his scruffy beard and shriveled appearance.

“Thanks, everyone have a seat.” Hotch said. He was taking in everyone’s facial expressions, because he knew soon they’d be displaying at least five different ones in the next few minutes.

“Why? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Morgan asked, not sitting down. Hotch was staring at the table, arms crossed. JJ stood beside him, glancing over as he began his story.

“Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Reid had lost a lot of blood after his fight with Doyle. The doctors were able to stabilize him,” Garcia slowly turned her head towards Hotch as he continued. “And he was airlifted from Boston to Pethestan under cover exploitation.” Morgan’s eyes were wide, face shocked. Rossi was trying to process the news. “His identity was strictly need to know.” Hotch continued. “And he stayed there until he was well enough to travel. He was reassigned to Paris where he was given several identities, none which we had access to for his protection.”

There was a moment of shocked silence from the team, then Garcia gasped out, “He’s alive?”

“W-we buried him.” Emily added when Hotch didn’t answer right away.

“As I said I take full responsibility for this situation and if anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.” Hotch replied.

“Any issues?” Morgan forced out. Garcia’s looked at Hotch, then back at Morgan, eyes wide and mouth opened in shock.

“Yeah, I’ve got issues!” Morgan continued. There was silence, then the soft shuffle of shoes. A figure appeared in the doorway. Reid.

“Oh my god," Garcia whispered. Morgan looked at Reid, then to Hotch, and back to Reid, as if he didn’t believe the boy was real.

His pretty boy was back.

xxx

Emily sat with Strauss on a bench, both watching as Reid appeared and showed his ID to the guard, who nodded and lifted the ropes. “At least you got him back.” Strauss said softly.

“Do we?” was the soft reply.

xxx

Reid accepted hugs from Emily and Garcia before he began to ramble. “I am so sorry, I really am. Not a day went by where I didn’t-” he stopped as he saw Morgan and walked towards him. “Really, you didn’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry…” he placed his hands gently on Morgan’s buff arms. He hugged the man gently, and a second later Morgan’s hand came up to rest on his back. Reid pulled away before Morgan could enjoy the hug. “There is so much I wanna tell you guys, and I will, I promise. But right now, I really need to know what’s going on with Doyle.” Morgan couldn’t take his eyes of Reid as the room bustled into activity.

xxx

“Hey, Morgan? What do I do about Emily...and Garcia?”

“Reid, there’s a lot about you being back that’s unresolved.”

“Ah, are you pissed at me too?” Reid said, clearly heartbroken.

“Oh, come on. How could I be? You’re here.”

Reid closed his eyes. “Thank you. I know what you went through. Grief counseling- you carried my coffin.”

“Yeah, sure did. What was in that thing anyway?” Morgan tried to lighten the mood. He wanted to know so much, but right now all he knew was Spencer was back, and his mind was in overdrive.

Spencer smiled, and Morgan swore his heart fluttered.

xxx

It had been several months since the case with Doyle had ended, and Morgan had been getting on with Reid fantastically.

“I...you’re real.” Morgan said, for who knew how many times since then. (Spencer had been counting, it was exactly two hundred eighty six. Make that two hundred eighty seven.)

“I’m real.” Spencer confirmed, smiling at Morgan.

“Fuck, pretty boy. When they told me you died, I was so...a piece of me died. I lost my best friend, my...the love of my life.”

“The love…” Spencer began, then swallowed heavily. “Of your life?”

“Of my life.” Morgan confirmed, gently lifting Spencer’s chin. “Spence, I fell for you so long ago, and I had plans to tell you. But then you were torn from my arms and I was never gonna forgive myself. Now you’re back and I’m not letting you go, I wanna make you mine-if you want to?”

“I’d love to.” Spencer whispered, eyes shutting as the plush lips of Derek Morgan’s pressed to his.

xxx

“Well, good morning, Spencer Morgan-Reid.” Derek smiled as his husband shuffled into the kitchen, wearing Derek’s button down.

“Good morning, Derek Morgan-Reid.” Spencer replied, thanking him with a kiss as Derek handed him a cup of coffee.

“Penelope emailed me the pictures she took at the wedding. There is over a thousand.”

“Hmm.” Spencer hummed, snuggling into Derek’s side. “She's great.”

“She is. But even my baby girl can’t compare to my pretty boy. Don’t tell her I said that, though.”

“I wouldn’t think of it.” Spencer whispered, pressing his lips to Derek’s.

This was home.

This was his new life.

And he was never letting it go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I really hoped you enjoyed it. I'm sorry for any mistakes. xx


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